Yes, there are occasionally people who use OKCupid like a sex ATM. Women have it just as bad as men do – they may get deluged by guys who assume we’re the lone exception, that those non-responses are somehow a judgement of us as a person and that everyone else has it better or easier than we do.Sometimes that anger and resentment spills out into your messages to other people – I’ve lost track of the number of “You won’t talk to me, you must be some BITCH!!! ” messages that my female friends have shared with me.To abuse the metaphor further, you want to be tossing as much out there as you can and seeing what floats to the top. Some people are just going to disappear off the face of the earth with no warning.It’s one thing when you’re meeting women in person – unless you’re a graduate of the Lando Calrissian Player School, then you’re only going to be flirting with one woman at a time. Even if someone seems perfect on paper, you have no idea how well you’re going to work out in person… Even two or three dates isn’t enough to preclude things not working out.Look, there are untold numbers of reasons why people don’t respond to online dating messages…and they don’t necessarily have anything to do with never know.It’s a way of saying “I know you’re probably not going to write back to me, so please notice me noticing you and do the hard work for me…” If you’re interested in them, send an email already!Much like stressing about the opener, the first email is there to get them interested enough to write back.
You may be trying to avoid getting shot down and want to wait until you’re actually going to meet her in public.
Feel free to write out the “about me” section in advance; it’ll save you time in the long-run and it allows you to fine-tune it rather than hitting “send” and then kicking yourself because you realized you could’ve said something wittier. If you had a chance, what would you do to wind down after a long week? A little about me: I’m $AWESOME_ATTRIBUTES_X, Y and Z… Like I said: you seem like you’re a really interesting person and I’d love to get to know you.
So a (very generic) example would be: “Hey, you seem like you’re cool and I wanted to say “hey.” So… Hope to talk to you soon, YOUR_NAME” Give it a somewhat offbeat subject line in order to stand out from the crowd – I’ve always had success with “Pirates are inherently cooler than ninjas” – and send it on its way. If you’re not the most assertive or confident person, you may not feel comfortable asking somebody out on a date early on.
Unless you’ve had some form of the relationship talk, don’t be so quick to cut ties with other potential dates. Here’s one of the harsh truths about online dating: it’s a numbers game.
The people who of time feeling like you’re shouting out into the void or tossing off messages in bottles only to watch them disappear over the horizon without any hope of a response.