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According to some experts, this isn’t always easy to do for someone who has a fear of being intimate with others. Relationships can be scary because they do make you change. If you feel like you can’t turn him down without him flipping out or shutting down, then he could be acting out due to this fear. It’s immature and a problem only he can work out by himself (and you don’t have to stick around for that). Shutting other people out can be a defense mechanism to avoid intimacy. Public displays of affection aren’t everyone’s thing, but some people don’t like it because being affectionate is just scary for them.

You have to be less selfish and make sacrifices for someone else. If he likes to avoid confrontation or serious discussions by doing this, then it could be a huge red flag. If your guy is also distant in other ways, then it could be a sign he doesn’t want to claim you in the hope of keeping his options open to other people.

The “I don’t need you or want you” mentality isolates you from your own feelings and those of others. The crux of it is that there is an inability to love – both to feel it and to give it.

Things that are irritating or large problems are internalized and stuffed away, versus being brought out. The emotions are released through one or many of the following non-exhaustive list of items: You could classify the avoider mentality as a large amount of defences rolled into one complex milieu of mechanisms to prevent any further trauma.

While women seek these deep relationships, the prospect of getting so close with a woman can scare the hell out of guys.

How do you know if this is to blame for your issues?

These risks start from when we get over our fears to walk up to them and introduce ourselves, with the possibility of rejection, to revealing that we love certain things, and risking them calling those same things childish, stupid, or boring.

Download the app and see how much better dating can be! Nicole Weaver Nicole Weaver is a staff writer for Your Tango and regularly contributes to Hollywood, The Bolde, and Proud2BMe.

One side may begin to pull away in the relationship; the one individual who feels engulfed while the other feels abandoned by this pull away.

Complicating things is the fact that each person experiences their own set of emotions, and can think of each other as the abandoner or engulfer!

If these 10 things fit him, then he’s probably too scared to be vulnerable. Perhaps your man is just an extrovert, but if he wants to be around people all the time, then he might have a fear facing himself and his thoughts, according to therapists.

He may also have a fear of being alone with you because he knows he’ll have to open up when there are no other distractions. Maybe your guy is a great listener and actually wants to help you fix what’s bothering you, but if he avoids talking about his own problems, he’s probably scared of opening up and being vulnerable with you. He has unrealistic standards when it comes to dating.

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